Author Cyndi Francois: “I Wanted People Going through Rock Bottom to Know They Are Not Alone”
We periodically feature guest input from impactful authors we’ve worked with. Please enjoy this Q&A about the writing process with memoir author Cyndi Francois.
SPIRITUS BOOKS: Tell us a little about your book and why you wrote it.
At first, writing my story, Traveling through Grief: Life, Death, and Ten Months in a Tent, was just a way to process unbearable emotions and events surrounding my new husband’s sudden death. I felt like I could no longer hold onto the weight of it all, and as a professional marketing copywriter, I write and simplify to make sense of all things—whether it be the sudden death of my husband, or to promote an interactive flat panel display to educators in schools around the globe.
I wrote a blog in the aftermath of his death and continued to journal during a road trip through the U.S. national parks. I used those existing writings to outline and format my manuscript, which follows me through living on the road while in survival mode after I lost everything. Over time, I thought my story could help other young widows experiencing similar life changes.
How has writing a book helped you personally or professionally?
I wanted people going through rock bottom to know they are not alone, that their feelings are normal and valid, and more importantly, that they can get through this. Personally, the process of writing and publishing my memoir has allowed me to connect with people I normally would have never met, and knowing someone who is struggling can pick up my book and find someone who can relate to their pain is a significant achievement in my life.
What was the best or easiest part of the process for you?
I’m not sure anything about this process was easy—it took me over six years, a chunk of my savings, and a lot of encouragement from outside sources to help bring it to life. I think the minute I held the first physical copy in my hands was the best part. All the anxieties, work, stress, and love that I poured into it was now out of my hands, and it felt exciting, terrifying, and made me want to puke.
What did you find the most challenging?
Having the motivation to finish the initial manuscript was my largest hurdle. I ran out of steam so many times and wondered why I was putting myself through writing and reliving my husband’s death again and again. Picture reading about your partner’s funeral over and over, just to make sure every period was in the right place, every word made sense, and every emotion was conveyed. I thought about burning the manuscript and first physical copy. There were so many secrets and moments I was ashamed of inside the pages. Why am I exposing my most vulnerable years? In the end, I did it anyway—because it’s good to do things that scare you, and those vulnerable parts are often what people need to read the most.
What surprised you, or what do you wish you had known ahead of time or done differently?
I don’t regret anything about this process, but I do wish I wouldn’t have procrastinated so much when I was under certain self-imposed deadlines to get my manuscript done. I needed professional help to give me the validation and push I required, because something like this shouldn’t be done alone. I’m glad I found a team of people who know a lot more than I do about writing, editing, and publishing a book. They were the boost of motivation I needed to cross the finish line.
What advice would you give to first-time authors?
Just do it. Getting going and being committed to writing as much as you can every single day is a skill, process, and routine and it’s hard. Thinking about it happening is not going to help make it happen. Find your people and lean on them for their expertise, but remember, this is your story. The perfectionist in me had me wanting to write and rewrite page after page and change everything about it. The logical part of me knew nobody would know if I had done that or not. Whatever came out was what I needed to write, and somehow, it all made sense as a memoir.
Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know?
A self-published author needs to do a lot of marketing. I wish I had the means and personality for better marketing and networking, but that’s a work in progress. I put it off, knowing in the back of my mind that marketing my book is just as important as writing and publishing it, but I found I also needed a mental break from just getting it out into the world.
I’m slowly starting to speak on podcasts and do more interviews, and I have my book in local bookstores with opportunities for in-person author talks. If nobody knows about it, nobody can read it. Make sure your cover is professional and beautiful, meet all the guidelines and criteria for a professional book, and your opportunities are endless. Building my confidence as a writer, author, and experienced griever who can offer help to others has been a challenging journey and often has me dealing with “imposter syndrome,” but one quick reminder of my progress and achievements usually puts that inner critic to sleep.
Six weeks after marrying her best friend of ten years, Cyndi Francois had to start over. Desperately trying to navigate her new reality as a young widow after her husband’s unexpected death, she relocated from the Midwestern suburbs to the outskirts of Olympic National Forest in Washington state after a forty-five-thousand-mile national park road trip. She works as a professional copywriter and continues to use nature and travel to help live a full, present life.
Connect with Cyndi through her website, or on LinkedIn or Facebook.
