Author Jenny Lisk: “Memoir Is an Act of Service”
We periodically feature guest input from impactful authors we’ve worked with. Please enjoy this Q&A about the writing process with memoir author Jenny Lisk.
SPIRITUS BOOKS: Tell us a little about your book and why you wrote it.
JENNY LISK: My first book is a memoir, Future Widow: Losing My Husband, Saving My Family, and Finding My Voice. It’s an account of losing my husband, Dennis, to brain cancer when our kids were nine and eleven, and then trying to figure out how the rest of us would carry on. I know from experience that widowed parents feel lost and alone, so if my story could help some of them, I really wanted to write it.
How has writing a book helped you personally or professionally?
Writing this book has been an amazing experience and has opened a lot of doors for me. I already had a podcast for widowed parents, so this was my first step in creating information for my listeners in a longer form. Since writing the book, I’ve been invited to speak to funeral professionals, grief support teams, and community organizations, plus I’ve spoken on almost 50 podcasts. Having a book has enabled me to reach a bigger audience, and introducing my story with this memoir has set me up for the next books I plan to write.
What was the best or easiest part of the process for you?
I’ve really enjoyed being interviewed on podcasts. Most podcasts, even small ones, have engaged followers, so it’s a great way to get the word out about your book. Of course, most podcast hosts won’t want to talk to you just because you have a new book – they’ll want to talk to you about some topics related to your expertise and experience. I’ve enjoyed speaking with hosts who I’d probably never have met otherwise, and I’ve loved the opportunity to reach a wide variety of audiences. I always offer to send the host a digital review copy of my book ahead of time. When they actually read it, I find it makes for a better discussion.
What did you find the most challenging?
I started with 15,000 words I’d originally written on CaringBridge while my husband was sick. After he died, I knew I had the start of a book about a young family’s experience facing terminal illness – but I also knew it wasn’t a book yet. I had no idea what would make it a book, however, other than a sense that it couldn’t just be, “this happened…this happened…this happened…The End.”
It wasn’t until I came across John Truby’s book, The Anatomy of Story, that I learned about the importance of story arc and character development in memoir. I also learned about the importance of the opening line and how you can use it to encapsulate the themes in the book. I spent hours staring at the ceiling working on that single first sentence, so I was especially thrilled to win an award from Zibby Books for it.
What surprised you, or what do you wish you had known ahead of time or done differently?
I wish I had figured out how to get the manuscript done earlier. I kept thinking that I’d do an hour a day, or work on it every Saturday morning, or some such slow-and-steady approach, but it wasn’t until I got frustrated and said, “I’m going to clear my calendar for the month of August and write 1,000 words a day” – and held myself accountable by posting about it on social media – that I made any meaningful progress on it. I think it’s important to figure out what works for you in the writing process and not think you have to do it the way everyone else does.
What advice would you give to first-time authors?
If you’re writing memoir, I’d say it’s helpful to remind yourself that memoir is an act of service. It’s an idea I first heard from fellow author Julie Lythcott-Haims. I wrote it on a sticky note on the wall above my computer, and every time things got hard and I questioned why I was doing this, I looked at my wall and reminded myself of all the widowed parents out there who could learn something from my story. If you’re working on a memoir, I’d put “Memoir is an Act of Service” somewhere visible and refer to it every time you think you might want to ditch the whole effort. It’s worth pushing through.
Is there anything else you’d like our readers to know?
It’s super helpful to have a good team in your corner, especially if this is your first book and you’re publishing independently. You’ll definitely need professional cover design and interior layout, because these are the first things prospective readers notice about your book. Professional editing is mandatory, too. I loved working with Jocelyn, who edited both my memoir and my most recent book. In my acknowledgments I thanked her for “obsessing over every word in the manuscript, right along with me” – and I meant it. Her help was crucial. When you find a good editor, cover designer, and others, hang onto them – you never know when you’ll want to write another book!
Jenny Lisk is the founder of the Widowed Parent Institute. Her books, Future Widow and Widowed Parents Unite, and her show, The Widowed Parent Podcast, guide the journey of solo parenting after loss.
Jenny’s work has been featured in The Washington Post, Katie Couric Media, Yahoo Life, ParentMap, and more. You can download her free resources for widowed parents and for supporting grieving friends.
Connect with Jenny through the links above, or on LinkedIn or Facebook.
